Eveline Schneibel, for every parent, their own child is always something special. But what if, objectively speaking, they have talents that surpass those of their peers?
My experience is that it is important and of course, only right to listen seriously and carefully to ALL parents. They have known, observed and lovingly accompanied their child since birth. During this time, parents will often quickly notice if their child is further along in his/her development. This may lead to irritation and issues on various levels. If children are at different stages of development and are not yet aware of this, it can be difficult for them to communicate with each other – both on a linguistic level and in terms of empathy. In such cases, it is essential that prudent adults build bridges. But this situation is also fraught with difficulties for parents. As soon as it becomes apparent to the outside world that their child is further along in his/her development, they are quickly accused of pushing the child. As a result, it is suddenly no longer a matter of course to have a relaxed and differentiated exchange with other parents. Worries are then often dismissed as luxury problems and not taken seriously.
What role does the parental home play with such children, and what role does the school play?
Parents are the most important people in a child’s life. If a child is highly gifted, there are some challenges associated with this that other parents do not experience and may not understand. Being highly gifted brings with it some challenging personality traits that do not harmonise with every parenting style. Such children are very differentiated, present and sensitive in their perceptions. At the same time, they also have strong personalities. Highly gifted children think independently, have a tendency to be disobedient, but are world champions in genuine cooperation at ‘eye level’. Specific parental counselling helps a lot here, especially when things don’t always work out at school.
Feeling accepted at school is, of course, also very important. If the child experiences that his/her nature is not understood and accepted, this can have a considerable negative impact on his/her development. I often experience that teachers are willing to do their best for highly gifted children, but fail due to a lack of know-how and too few resources. It is particularly difficult for the child when parents and school do not agree and the situation becomes one of mutual blame and devaluation. When high giftedness is involved, holistic integration at all levels is always challenging.
You are familiar with the work of the Lipschule. What do the school management and teachers do particularly well when dealing with highly gifted children?
I have had contact with the Lipschule for many years – both from the perspective of a mother and as a professional. Although there is no one right or perfect school for children who are highly gifted, it is worthwhile looking for an individual fit. I think it is important that the school is willing to learn something new with and from each child with special needs, and to engage meaningfully with each child.
I experience this at the Lipschule time and again, even in very special cases, and the relief and joy felt by the parents and children are always wonderful to experience. The know-how in dealing with highly gifted children is there and individual adaptations are implemented without much fuss. One never has the impression that a child is an imposition because effort is required. In addition, the children at the Lipschule experience a very open-minded attitude with a wide range of stimuli that go far beyond the usual school materials. When you visit, you see and notice immediately: this place is alive.
As an external expert, I value the open and mutually appreciative exchange. It is also important to me that when difficulties arise, they don’t give up immediately, but look for solutions in an uncomplicated, open, and honest way. In doing this, the children experience that it is worthwhile expressing personal limits and needs because they will be heard and seen. This makes many things possible for highly gifted students. We all agree that in this lively learning community, the well-being of the children is what we strive for.